America is not the World Police…worse, they are the world’s mommy. And that sucks.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are crude, yes, but great. In 2004, as America’s attitude toward the (war? police action? debaucle?) quagmire in Iraq shifted, Parker and Stone put out “Team America: World Police” lampooning the egotism and patriotism of America as some moralistic, justice dispensing, know-it-all nation. It was a great movie, but I don’t think America is a Police force, it is more like a schizophrenic parent.

For all the firstworld anarchists bloviation about how police are a terrible blight, police actually do good things:

  • Respond to a crisis

  • Stop criminals from harming innocents

  • Detain suspects until adjudication

  • Hand out baseball cards to neighborhood school children

It would be a treat if our nation acted that way. For most people, the cops never hassle them (Your Mileage May Vary) and if they are good cops, they have a good reason to stop you (Don’t get me started on NYC’s “Stop and Frisk” crap. That doesn’t fit with the narrative… mooooooving on). Instead, the You Ess of Eh acts like the worst kind of overbearing parent ever.

It wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t take the worst qualities of parents in dealing with the rest of the nations it views as children.


“Mommy” America:

  • Expects all the “children” to act according to how mommy wants them to act

  • Plays favorites, giving out foreign aid to those mommy likes

  • Freaks out and dispenses harsh punishment out of anger for those mommy doesn’t like much, but needs their help keeping the lights on

  • Utterly neglects the children she either doesn’t like or doesn’t see value in

  • Eaves drops on her children’s phone calls

  • Saves a copy of all of their browser histories


But America shouldn’t be the world’s police force, or it’s mother. It should view other nations as collegues. As teammates working for, ultimately, the same goals: Healthy economies, a sustainable habitat and a desire to explore the uncharted.

Some of the blame lies with the politicians. Twisting their screws and creating a culutre of fear and artificial scarcity. But most of the blame lies with us —  we, the people — because it is only when we can form a consensus, a common objective to achieve these goals, that we are going to make any progress toward utopia.

Like it or not, humanity is a family of brothers and sisters, no parents allowed.